Kinda enjoying using the word “hell” in the title for these monthly reviews.

May the fifth be with you. I wanted to post this yesterday on May the fourth so I could lean into the Star Wars bit, but I was too tired. That’s not stopping me from making the joke now.

April was an interesting month, no doubt. A lot happened personally, in the world and through all of that, I’m still here.

That matters more than I give it credit for.

On Writing, Guilt, and Letting Go

The main thing this month has been writing and creating, and more importantly, how I measure it.

I’ve gotten into this habit of judging how much I’ve done based on how much I’ve written. And I’m starting to realise that’s not a healthy metric. There are days where I want to write something, I start it, leave it halfway, and then abandon it entirely. What follows is this unnecessary guilt that I take way too seriously.

But I’ve started to understand that letting go doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It just means I’m aware enough to recognise that something doesn’t hold value for me anymore. And that’s not the worst thing.

That’s exactly why I’m not going to review Now You See Me 3 or Sinners. I watched them, I enjoyed them, they were good films. But I don’t have anything I want to say in writing. Forcing myself to write about them just to maintain consistency feels pointless. I can talk about Sinners for hours with someone if it comes up, but sitting down and turning that into a structured piece feels like a waste of time.

And that’s it. It’s not deeper than that. Not writing about something isn’t a reflection of its quality. It’s just me choosing where my time and energy go.

The “I Did Nothing” Lie

There was this running thought all month that I hadn’t really done anything. That I’d just let time pass. Then I actually sat down and asked myself “what did I actually do?”

And the answer was… quite a bit.

I finished my recaps of the Chinese and Japanese Grand Prix. They were late, yes, but they were good. The five-week break in the calendar helped more than I expected, it gave me space to not rush, to recalibrate instead of forcing output.

On the review side, I published three pieces: How to Make a Killing, Parasite, and Beef Season 2. The last one was unexpected. I didn’t plan on writing about it, but I liked it enough that the transition from “I enjoyed this” to “I want to write about this” felt effortless. That kind of conversion is what I’m starting to value more. It doesn’t mean I didn’t like other things, it just means I chose to spend my time on something that felt worth it.

Building, Fixing, and Making Life Easier

Work has been going well. There are moments where monotony creeps in, but it doesn’t stick around for long.

Outside of that, I spent a lot of time improving my own systems. I upgraded the backend of my content server—better handling, cleaner routing, improved caching. With the kind of system I’ve built, I wanted to be sure there were no leaks or inefficiencies. I ran into the same issue twice, and at this point, if it happens a third time, I’ll know exactly how to deal with it. That kind of familiarity is satisfying in its own way.

One of the more important things I built this month was private minis. The original idea behind minis was always to write freely, but I kept running into the wall of public perception. Friends, family, the idea that everything I write is visible. So I changed the system instead of compromising the intent.

Now, when I create a private mini, it generates an encrypted file, an unlisted link, and exists entirely as a controlled, private space. Some of these might never be seen by anyone else, and I’m completely fine with that. The point is that I can express whatever I need to, using a platform I built for that exact purpose, without hesitation.

And in the process, I ended up learning a lot about encryption and handling sensitive data, which was genuinely fun.

Building for Myself (And Why That Matters)

My Beyond Money app is coming along really well. It’s still primarily something I built for myself, but that’s exactly why it works.

I’ve been adding features based on how I actually think about and manage money. Instead of adapting to someone else’s system, I’m shaping my own.

I did make a public version of it, but it requires setup. The goal isn’t to chase users. It’s to showcase something I’ve built. Whether it grows beyond that or not doesn’t really matter right now.

What matters is that I enjoy using it. And through it, I’m exploring financial concepts in a way that actually sticks as I start learning about investing and markets.

Check out the public version if you are interested : Beyond Money Public

Evolving the System as I Evolve

On the BeyondMeBtw side, most of the work was backend focused. I moved away from a lot of hardcoded structures and made things more automated.

These aren’t flashy changes, but they matter. They’re the kind of improvements that only become possible as you grow. It would’ve been difficult for me to build things this way at the start, and that’s fine. The system evolving alongside me is the point.

There’s also something oddly satisfying about making your own life more convenient. It sounds small and maybe even dumb, but it isn’t. A lot of people fall into the “it works, so don’t touch it” mindset, and that’s how things become stagnant.

I’d rather take the risk and improve things as I go or fail. I don’t want to regret anything at the end.

Rabbit Holes, Side Quests, and Small Wins

The MyNyl project sent me down a rabbit hole where I tried to build a completely new theme. I eventually dropped it, but not before creating a risograph style theme and making some UI and feature updates. Not everything needs to be finished to be worthwhile.

I also built a table of contents extension for Medium exactly the way I wanted it. I didn’t put it on the Chrome Web Store because I didn’t want to pay the fee yet, but it exists, and it works: https://github.com/pranav1211/toc-medium-by-bmb

Another rabbit hole was subdomains and then nested subdomains. I reworked my Gradient Club site and linked it to BeyondMeBtw, so now it sits at https://gradientclub.beyondmebtw.com It’s long, but it feels like a proper identity compared to a /projects/gradientclub structure.

And then I took it further. Nested subdomains like https://openhouse2026.gradientclub.beyondmebtw.com started showing up. They’re long, slightly ridiculous, but functional and honestly, kind of fun. At the end of the day, it’s just a link people click.

I also rethought how my posts system works. Medium kept breaking previews on platforms like Twitter and Bluesky because of inconsistent thumbnails. So instead of relying on it, I reimagined my own system. Now, I upload an HTML file with metadata and assets, and it works both as a proper post and as a redirect layer. Social previews stay intact because I control the content. It’s a small shift, but it solves a very real problem.

Utsav, Music, and Misaligned Expectations

Life outside of all this has been fine.

Utsav, My college cultural fest happened. I went for the last two days. It was fun, but also a bit underwhelming.

The final day had performances by Mythri Iyer and Raghu Dixit. Mythri’s set was more upbeat, something you could actually groove to, which worked well in that environment. Raghu Dixit, on the other hand, was incredible objectively. His music, his presence, everything about the performance was strong.

But it didn’t fit the moment for me.

His songs are reflective, emotional, rooted in life and its weight. And while that’s powerful, it’s not something you can really dance to at a college fest. You can sing along, you can appreciate it, but the energy felt mismatched.

And saying that doesn’t mean I didn’t like him. In fact, the moment it ended, I went straight to Spotify and added his songs because they were that good. I commented about this on Reddit—said I felt the vibe didn’t match, while still respecting him and got downvoted heavily. I don’t really understand that reaction. Not enjoying something in a specific context doesn’t mean a lack of admiration.

I deleted the comment, but the whole thing just felt unnecessary.

What’s Next

I still need to start releasing my retrospective series. I began with The Flash, but quickly realised how much I’ve forgotten and how deep I need to go. So that’s delayed for now.

I also plan to release reviews for The Night Manager Season 2 and Dhurandhar 2. It’s been a while since I watched them, but I have clear perspectives I want to explore.

The Miami Grand Prix recap is coming soon as well. Even if it’s a bit delayed, there’s a three-week gap before the next race, so I have time.

College is ending. May 12th is my last day. Final exams are around the corner. And strangely, it hasn’t fully hit me yet. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Have a great May, Take care. Have fun.